The opening ceremony for the Winter Olympics from Sochi is tonight. Find out why you couldn't care less with The Top Reasons You're Not Into the Winter Olympics.
That event where they ski, then shoot a gun. As an American, you've just never understood the skiing part.
You think the only thing people should be doing in the snow is trying to get the hell OUT of it.
You don't support anything that comes from Russia except vodka and Anna Kournikova.
That's two weeks you could spend logging onto Obamacare.
Bob Costas' intricate sweaters trigger your epilepsy.
You live on the East Coast, so you already have your own Winter Olympic event, the Driving On The Icy Road And Trying Not To Die.
You just don't see it as a legit competition unless Simon Cowell is involved.
You were really excited until you realized it's not the SUSHI Olympics.
You're not caught up on all the previous Winter Olympics so you'd be totally lost.
You don't care about bobsled teams unless they're in a delightful Disney family movie.
It's the Olympics with the word Winter in front of it.