Today is the last day of hosting "The Tonight Show" for Jay Leno.  Let's take a minute to look inside his head this morning with The Top Things Jay Leno is Thinking Right Now.

Should I start practicing my monologue for when I come back?

Can I get anyone to laugh at these jokes without a light-up applause sign?

I wonder if I can work Monica Lewinsky, Judge Ito and Sarah Palin into one last mega-joke?

I've got Billy Crystal AND Garth Brooks on tonight.  And yet the IDIOTS at NBC STILL say I don't know how to reach a young demographic!

Remember:  When the police stop by tomorrow, tell them I have "no idea" who could have possibly cut Jimmy Fallon's brakes.

It's been over 20 years.  But thanks to my punch lines, it still feels like 1995.

I hope Jimmy Fallon lets me guest-host sometime.  Like on his first night.  And his second night.  Ah, what the hell . . . night three, too.

Remember, don't open any ticking packages from Conan.

I wonder how much I'd have to pay Kevin Eubanks to hang out in my garage, hold a guitar and chuckle mindlessly at everything I say.

Now I'll have time to resume the impossible search for someone who even once laughed at a "Headlines" bit.

Can I still approach idiots on the street with political questions just for my own amusement?

Being forced into retirement sucks!  Now I have to spend all day with my hundreds of cars and billions of dollars!

How do I get Google to stop putting me as the top result when you search "backstabber?"

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