Have you heard of "Liberal Tears" Gun Oil? Here is some info from their press release:
It has been known for quite some time now that guns have two enemies: rust and Liberals. Liberal Tears Gun Oil protects against both. Unlike most gun oils, Liberal Tears is a completely organic, cleaner lubricant protectant (CLP) that you will not find anywhere else on the market. According to Rep. Steve Stockman (R-TX) "Liberal Tears are the Best Gun Lubricant" known to man.
Danger Close Weapons Marketing Group in St. Charles, Missouri (a division of Anchor Communications, Inc) used the unique, organic qualities of Liberal Tears to deliver a gun oil that allows the shots of freedom to fire from the guns of firearm enthusiasts everywhere. This gun oil will pick up all the dirt, debris, opinions, and other unwanted crap that builds up on your gun over time. Additionally, Liberal Tears Gun Oil gives the gun owner the distinct pleasure of answering to anyone who may ask the question, "What do you use to lube up your gun?" with a satisfying, "Liberal Tears."
"Liberal Tears are harvested from natural springs of Liberal Tears in California and Massachusetts. No actual harm comes to the Liberals during extraction. Only butt-hurt over failed gun bans is required." Said agency CEO, TJ Kirgin.