Did you catch "The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show" last night on CBS?  If not, it's probably on account of something found here on The Top Reasons You Didn't Watch "The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show".

You clawed out your eyes after watching Carrie Underwood "act" on "The Sound of Music Live".

You want to be SURPRISED by who Leonardo DiCaprio's gonna date next year.

You were paralyzed with shock after finally discovering Victoria's "secret."  No matter how much lingerie you buy, your wife doesn't get younger or thinner.

You heard Fall Out Boy was going to be performing.  And thanks to your dead-end job and soul-crushing marriage, you get all the punishment you need.

You turned it on, but you spent the entire time Instagramming selfies of yourself watching "The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show".

You were afraid that like every other show this week, it'd feature an unfunny drop in by Will Ferrell to promote "Anchorman 2".

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