A soon-to-open bar in L.A. will be offering a milkshake made with edible gold, Belgian chocolate, and then garnished with a Swarovski crystal ring . . . all for a mere $500!
So before you run over there and wait in line . . . first take a minute and check out The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Ordering the $500 Milkshake.
At what point did humanity cease to matter to me?
Brain freeze is covered under Obamacare, right?
Should I drink it with my pinky extended and a look of contempt for the unwashed?
Have I already exhausted every other possible means of broadcasting the fact I'm an awful, awful person?
I know this is crazy, but is it possible that selling a $500 milkshake is some sort of cheap publicity stunt orchestrated by a pretentious restaurant owner?
Will flashing lights and alarms go off when I order it, so everyone around sees how AWESOME I am?
Before spending $500 on a milkshake, am I legally required to call my parents and ask what they did to raise such a deplorable excuse for a human being?
Is it true that it comes specially flavored with the tears of poor people?
Would I be happier if I spent the money on 500 McFlurries?
Will they let me pay for it with food stamps?
Am I both extremely wealthy and extremely stupid?
Is this the milkshake that will actually bring all the boys to the yard?
On a scale of one to ten, how much do I secretly hate myself?
Will the bar provide me with a group of starving people I can mock as I drink it?
If I'm gonna pay $500 for a drink, shouldn't I just get a venti Mocha Frappuccino at Starbucks?
The big question is, will the pic I take of it get more likes on Facebook . . . or more loves on Instagram?