The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Signing Up for Obamacare

A #DGS971 List

Thinking about applying for Obamacare? If so, first take a minute and check out The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Signing Up for Obamacare.

I know it has nothing to do with the topic, but what exactly DOES a fox say?!?

If I sign up on my MacBook while at a Starbucks, will people still think I'm working on an awesome screenplay?

Will my new ID card cut cocaine as well as my debit card?

Is there a version of this that only covers Botox and mental disabilities called "Bidencare"?

Is it okay to lie about my place of birth since the guy who started this thing did about his?

Do I get frustrated when websites don't respond immediately?  How about EVER?

Wouldn't it just be easier to make and sell meth to cover my health expenses?

How proud would the Founding Fathers be to know they risked their lives to create this nation so that one day, millions of us could shamelessly suck off the government teat?

If I decide to seek mental health care, will the electric snakes in my toaster stop FINALLY screaming the lyrics to "YMCA"?

Does weed fall under the label of "preventive care," since it "prevents" me from developing depression over the fact I'm a worthless, unemployed stoner?

When listing dependents, do I include my illegitimate baby with Pauly D?

After gaining six pounds from stress eating caused by the 47 hours it took to sign up for this thing, do I have to go back to the first page and adjust my weight?

If I apply by phone, will Obama be listening in?