Everyone knows that you have to work at having a good marriage. And since the guys seem to need more help . . . here are the Top Tips For Being a Better Husband.
Always remind her that marrying her was a huge mistake. Sorry, that's tips for being a BITTER husband.
Keep her far away from Simon Cowell.
Instead of pressuring her to exercise, leave a trail of M&M's to the treadmill.
Give her a neck and back massage, without snidely commenting that you can't tell where one ends and the other begins.
Ask how her day at work went WITHOUT plugging your ears, rolling your eyes and saying, "Here we go . . ."
When in doubt, shut up.
When the choice is "Play with her hair while watching 'The Notebook' vs. Go to the bar and watch UFC", guess which one is correct?
When she's driving, wear a blindfold and noise-canceling headphones.
Remember: Just because she likes to dance to "Blurred Lines", that doesn't mean she agrees with the lyrics.
Remember, no matter what she's wearing, she looks amazing in it.
Whenever possible, be Ryan Gosling.
As crazy as it sounds, consider giving her flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day, instead of a high-five and a coupon for half-off a Bloomin' Onion at Outback Steakhouse.
ALWAYS clear the search history on your web browser.
Schedule at least one "date night" a week. And, make sure it's not on Monday, Thursday or Sunday . . . so you can watch football.