New in Theaters: Captain Phillips and Machete Kills

pretty much both the same movie

Danny Trejo IS Machete.

In the sequel, he's asked by the President to go to Mexico and stop a terrorist from starting a nuclear war.

Mel Gibson plays the main villain, and Charlie Sheen is the president.

This movie includes a few firsts. It's the first time in Charlie's career that he's been credited under his TRUE name, Carlos Estevez . . . it's the first time Mel Gibson has been cast as the villain . . .

And it's Lady Gaga's acting debut. She plays an assassin called the Chameleon, whose other faces include Antonio Banderas, and Cuba Gooding Jr.

Sofia Vergara runs a brothel which has 25-year-old "Spy Kids" star Alexa Vega strutting around as one of her sexy harlots.

And if you've seen the trailer then you know Sofia rocks a machine gun that shoots bullets FROM HER CHEST.

Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are back from the first movie, and Amber Heard plays Machete's government handler. Vanessa Hudgens is also in it.

In Captain Phillips, Tom Hanks plays Captain Richard Phillips, the guy whose ship was hijacked by Somali pirates in 2009.

It's based on the true story about the military standoff that ensued as they held him hostage while the crew stayed locked in the engine room.

The taking of his freighter, the Maersk Alabama, was the first time an American cargo ship had been hijacked in nearly two hundred years.

Hanks is REALLY fantastic in the title role.

 

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