To no one's surprise, Kris and Bruce Jenner announced that they are officially separated. It's all explained here with the Top Reasons Kris and Bruce Jenner Split.

Her new iPhone 5C fulfilled her need for a colorful piece of plastic.

Unlike her first husband, Bruce never helped someone get away with double murder.

They realized the only thing they still had in common was annoying the rest of the world. Which they can still do apart.

Cyborgs sent to destroy human society are incapable of love.

Because who in their right mind would want to spend the rest of their life with Bruce or Kris Jenner?

Her feelings for him were as fake as, well, most of him.

There was constant tension over their family being falsely labeled "famous for being famous," instead of the infinitely more accurate "famous because one of them nailed Brandy's brother."

They were never able to recover from the traumatic experience of that one time they had to have a conversation WITHOUT the presence of a 15-man camera crew.

Bruce realized he'd have to spend Thanksgiving with both Kanye and Scott Disick.

Ryan Seacrest told them to.

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