If you need legal help, do your research and find someone who's qualified and competent.

That way you can avoid having to add anything to this list of the Top Signs You Hired the Wrong Lawyer.

When you ask him what kind of law he specializes in, he says "Jude Law."

He delivers his opening statements by way of interpretive dance.

He's a naïve upstart attorney in a small Southern town still haunted by prejudice . . . that's NOT a character in a John Grisham book.

For some reason during your divorce proceedings, he actually thinks you WANT to spend three days a week with your bratty, obnoxious kids.

OK....that was a short list.... how about a bonus list?!

Top Signs You Have a Bad Financial Planner

You hire a financial planner to help you save, invest and grow your money.  However, that wouldn't be the case if you recognize anything from the Top Signs You Have a Bad Financial Planner.

You have yet to see a return on the money he sank into Rebecca Black's career.  

His motto is "Saving is for Wussies."

He accepts cash, check or meth.

He recommends you go "all in" with Blockbuster stock.

He has a flawless record of returns.  When you look at his charts upside down.

After you ask him if he's certified, he puts on a pair of giant novelty sunglasses and says, "Yeah, certified HILARIOUS!"

He's the only financial planner in town who accepts payment in Camel Cash.

He keeps bragging about how he's the only financial planner in town who's also a semi-professional ventriloquist.

When you ask about the $50,000 missing from your retirement account, he replies, "Don't look at me.  I'm not good with numbers."

He says you'll be fine in retirement, as long as you don't buy a single thing for the rest of your life.

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