Being the wealthiest man in America doesn't guarantee happiness.  For proof, here are the Top Reasons It Still Sucks Being Bill Gates.


Unlike fellow billionaires Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, the only crime fighting alter ego he could be is Super-Dweeb.



Sometimes his personal chef burns the polar bear tostadas.



He knows the only way he's going to keep making money is if he invests in Apple.



He's always being pestered for loans by poor people like Oprah and Mark Zuckerberg.



Those foggy Washington mornings make it hard for him to see the rest of the world from atop his stack of money.



If he ever writes a check for $72 billion and one cent, it will bounce!



When's the last time you bought a Windows computer?  That.



Change machines rarely break a million-dollar bill.



He needs to convince his children they're not in the will just to keep them from killing him in his sleep.



Every time he tries to write another article about how Microsoft revolutionized global technology, Windows crashes his laptop.



Sometimes the wait for walk-in's at Supercuts can be 20 minutes.

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