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Top Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Wedding

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For many of us, summer means getting invited to weddings we don't particularly want to attend.  If you have to go to a wedding any time soon, we hope you don't experience anything from today's list of The Top Things You Don't Want to Hear at a Wedding.

 

Is seven times too many to play Pharrell's "Happy"?  Because I'm thinking NOT!        

 

Okay, this next dance is only for white men over 35!

 

And now let's have the heaviest bridesmaids on the dance floor for a Twerking contest.

 

It's a dollar to dance with the bride, but for 50 bucks, the sky's pretty much the limit.

 

The bride and groom have chosen a reading from the book of "Twilight".

 

Shhh.  The really drunk guy who used to date the bride is about to give a speech.

 

Uh oh.  The bride's water broke.

 

Don't worry.  I promise not to play any of the typical annoying wedding songs.  Except "YMCA", "Macarena", "My Heart Will Go On", "Shout", "The Electric Slide", "I Will Survive", and "Who Let the Dogs Out".

 

Don't worry.  It's not like anyone ever gets married, then instantly begins resenting the person they've chosen to spend the rest of their life with.

 

Sorry, this is a dry wedding.  Care for a Sprite?

 

I don't know . . . I'll take her in health, but I'm not sure about this sickness business.
 

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