Top Signs You're at an Awful Fourth of July Party
There's nothing better than a kickass Fourth of July party . . . and nothing worse than one that sucks. Here are The Top Signs You're at an Awful Fourth of July Party.
So far, nobody's blown off a thumb with a bottle rocket.
You're with your family.
Nobody appreciates your stars-and-stripes body thong.
The chef pays tribute to the bald eagle by serving it.
Per tradition, British guests are executed by musket.
Three words: Tofurkey Hot Dogs.
The only "fireworks" occur when the host's mother-in-law calls him a no-good lazy drunk.
You've been there a whole hour and haven't heard one Bob Seger song.
If the pets aren't trembling with fear from firecrackers then you've pretty much let the terrorists win.
You left the party and DON'T smell like fire.
The only thing exploding is Grandma's digestive tract.