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Top Reasons Americans Aren't Happy

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The U.S. came in 17th on the list of the world's happiest countries. Find out why we weren't at the top with the Top Reasons Americans Aren't Happy.

Someday we're gonna have to explain to our kids why Hannah Montana became a tramp.

That thing with the lizard-like face, bug eyes and neck rolls staring back at us in the mirror.

Our elderly parents live in our spare bedrooms, our college grad kids live in our basements, and our spouses live in XXX-L sweatshirts.

We're located between a nation that gives us violence, bloodshed and gore. And another that gives us Justin Bieber.

Duh. Ben Affleck is Batman.

Eight hot dogs in a pack but only six rolls in a bag? Are you kidding me?

Football is being ruined just because the wussy players don't want to spend the last few decades of their lives in a persistent vegetative state.

We haven't had a meal in literally MINUTES, so we're all STARVING!

Despite the presence of video cameras and ample amounts of tequila, many of our girls STILL refuse to go wild.

It's been a ludicrous 20 YEARS since anyone's come up with a vehicle that truly showcases the astonishing talents of Bronson Pinchot.

We were hoping the iPhone would have a built-in jetpack.

Being happy would mean getting off the couch, and that takes too much effort.

Try as we might, at the end of the day, we know we'll never truly be able to keep up with the Kardashians.

Too much "Words With Friends" . . . too few actual friends.

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