Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Lifeguard
Do you like helping people? Can you swim? Can you leer at bikini-clad millennials without having them realize you are leering at them? Well, these are just a few of The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Lifeguard.
Does excessive back hair help protect against shark attacks?
Is it okay to let someone drown if they're wearing a "Duck Dynasty" bathing suit?
Do I enjoy being mocked by kids and ignored by adults?
Can I represent the field with as much dignity as David Hasselhoff?
Am I just doing this to sell pot?
Will my whistle ever tangle with my nipple ring?
Can I resist the impossible urge to strangle dirt-bag surfers whenever they call me "brah?"
Should I be worried that the last time I took off my shirt, everyone at the pool began dumping chlorine in their eyes and screaming about how God is dead?
Will anyone notice if I use mouth-to-mouth resuscitation as an excuse to explore my sexual orientation?
Will I be able to tell the difference between a beached manatee and an average American sunbather?