Happy Fourth of July!
Posted 7/4/2013 3:00:00 PM

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!

Why not celebrate our nation’s independence with a new movie at your local multiplex?

Disney's new take on the "Lone Ranger" stars Armie Hammer from "The Social Network" as the Lone Ranger, and Johnny Depp as Tonto.

I'm seeing it for the rare opportunity to see Johnny Depp as an odd-talking misfit in makeup. How about you?

In this version Tonto's a Comanche warrior looking for revenge against the men who attacked his village, and got him cast out from his tribe. He finds a lawyer who was just deputized as a Texas Ranger, and is the sole survivor of an ambush . . . and helps transform him into a masked hero.

Helena Bonham Carter plays a ONE-LEGGED MADAM with a double-barreled SHOTGUN hidden in her peg-leg, who decides to help them . . . after she finds out that they're going after the guy who ATE her leg. He also eats a heart at one point in the film.

Jay Silverheels and Clayton Moore played Tonto and his Kemosabe on the successful "Lone Ranger" TV series from the 1950s. But no one's really had any luck bringing the characters to life again since then.

The most recent attempt was ten years ago, when Chad Michael Murray from "One Tree Hill" starred in a TV movie the WB had hoped to turn into a series.

 

In Despicable Me 2, Steve Carell's character Gru is kidnapped by a group called the Anti-Villain League, who want him to save the world from a bad guy voiced by Benjamin Bratt.

The hot cartoon chick who kidnaps him is voiced by Kristen Wiig, and she becomes his crime-fighting partner.

"iCarly's" Miranda Cosgrove is Gru's oldest daughter, and Russell Brand is also back as Gru's henchman Dr. Nefario.

 

It’s EVEN FUNNIER than the original, and yes, the “minions” are back as well.

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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