Miley Cyrus' Insane New Video, Snakes Opening Doors, and Rest in Peace Tony Soprano
Posted 6/20/2013 3:00:00 PM

MILEY CYRUS twerks . . . grinds . . . and makes out with a life-sized Barbie Doll in her weird new video for "We Can't Stop". And it's SERIOUSLY strange.

Here's a quick rundown of some of the other stuff you see in the video:

A skull made out of French fries . . . a girl pretending to cut her fingers off . . . dancing teddy bears . . . a guy eating a sandwich made of hundred dollar bills . . . taxidermied animals in sunglasses . . . thumb-sucking . . .a beer bottle piñata . . . a huge pile of bread . . . and a TON of shots of Miley shaking her butt in spandex.

 

Kim and Kanye's daughter is only five days old, but she already has a busy schedule. Check out the Celebrity To Do List of Kaidence Donda West.

7:30 A.M. Get permission from Ryan Seacrest to wake up.

8:00 A.M. Instead of crying, get Mommy's attention by holding up a camera.

8:30 A.M. Continue to be blissfully unaware of the spelling of my name, and therefore, just how much my parents despise me.

9:20 A.M. Poop in diapers made from $100 bills.

10:25 A.M. Spit up all over daddy. You're welcome, Taylor Swift.

11:15 A.M. Enjoy not being old enough to Google exactly how my mom became famous.

4:00 P.M. Launch new fragrance line.

5:00 P.M. Throw a tantrum. Just like daddy taught me!

7:00 P.M. Sleep like a baby knowing I'm already richer than you'll ever be.

A politician cheating on his wife isn't really news anymore. A politician cheating on his wife with a MAN isn't even news anymore. But this politician's side action is DEFINITELY a new twist. 53-year-old Simon Parks is a city councilman in Whitby, England. And he's admitted he cheated on his wife . . . with an ALIEN.

Parkes says he has sex about four times a year with a large, green female space alien known as the Cat Queen. They even have a child together, named Zarka.

Parkes also says his, quote, "real mother" is an alien. She's nine feet tall, green, and has eight fingers. One day he expects to be reunited with her on her home planet . . . once the technology is ready to beam him up. And he doesn't believe this alien affair is going to cost him his seat on the city council, because it hasn't affected his work.

Mostly, he's just trying to be a trailblazer. Quote, "There are plenty of people in my position who don't choose to come out and say it because they are terrified it will destroy their careers."

And for now, his wife is sticking by him. Quote, "My wife was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it's not on a human level, so I don't see it as wrong."

There's a video going around of a snake opening a door. And . . . that's all there really is to it. Some people think it looks cool, some people it looks freaky.

We're going with freaky.

It's only 12 seconds long, and it shows a closed door with a latch. Then the latch turns, the door opens, and a HUGE, thick, upright yellow snake flops out.

And actually, it smacks the floor pretty hard, which doesn't seem cool. Then the owner says, "good job."

Should we be encouraging massive snakes to open doors?

 

We end today’s blog with some sad news you’ve no doubt heard. Former "Sopranos" star JAMES GANDOLFINI passed away suddenly yesterday, after reportedly suffering a massive heart attack in Italy. He was 51.

Sadly, when he died, James was in the middle of a father-son trip to Italy with his teenage son Michael, who had just graduated eighth grade. They were really tight, and were regulars at L.A. Kings hockey games.

Michael was his son with his first wife Marcy. She immediately flew to Italy after hearing of his death. James is also survived by his second wife Deborah, who he married in 2008. Just last October, they had a baby girl.

There aren't many details on what happened . . . and it's unclear if he'd been suffering from any health problems before the heart attack. James' assistant said he'd just had "a beautiful day out" with his family . . . and, quote, "When they got back to the hotel, [he] went to use the restroom. "And something happened in there . . . His sister said he was alive when they took him out in the ambulance, on the way to the hospital."

James didn't really break into acting until 1999, when he scored the role of Tony Soprano. He won three Emmys for it, and was nominated six times. Before that, he made ends meet as a bartender and a club manager. He did have some notable small roles earlier in the '90s, in movies like "True Romance", "Crimson Tide", "Get Shorty", "The Juror" and "A Civil Action".

After "The Sopranos" ended in 2007, he had some bigger roles in movies like "The Taking of Pelham 123" and "Zero Dark Thirty", and he provided the voice of Carol in "Where the Wild Things Are".

If you haven’t seen the underrated British comedy (very dry, natch) ‘In the Loop’ check it out.

James is great in it.

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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