McCartney Attacked By Grasshoppers, New David Bowie Video, & Cleveland's New Tourism Slogans
Posted 5/9/2013 3:00:00 PM

Some music news for you on the blog today:

Grasshoppers don't eat beetles, and that's a good thing . . . because a ton of grasshoppers invaded PAUL MCCARTNEY'S concert in Brazil on Tuesday night.

He talked about the grasshoppers a few times during the concert . . . and even named one of them "Harold." See some crazy insect pics (GRASSHOPPER ON BEATLE ACTION) on today's blog pics.

In other music news, the lead singer of As I Lay Dying was arrested Tuesday for trying to hire an undercover detective to kill his estranged wife.

Cops became suspicious when he changed the name of the band to As My Estranged Wife Lay Dying After I Hire a Hit Man to Kill Her.

We wrap up today's music news with SPACE ALIEN DAVID BOWIE, who has put out a video for the title track off his new album, "The Next Day".

It has a religious theme, and features GARY OLDMAN as an ungodly bishop and MARION COTILLARD as a prostitute, who's dealing with some serious stigmata. Bowie appears too, as an entertainer.

There seems to be some sort of church-run, sex-for-money scheme going on . . . but there's a bigger emphasis on visuals than plot. It's not exactly a video for everyone, and it ends with Bowie standing up, thanking "Gary" and "Marion," and vanishing.

BECAUSE HE'S SPACE ALIEN DAVID BOWIE.

49-year-old Don Ennis is a top editor at ABC News in New York who's been married for 17 years, and has three kids. But deep down, it's clear he was never comfortable. Because on Friday, he showed up to work in a BLACK DRESS and a BROWN WIG, and announced he was now officially becoming a woman, getting divorced, and changing his name from Don to Dawn.

But it sounds like it's been a long time coming. Now that Don is Dawn, she posted on Facebook, quote, "This is not a game of dress-up, or make-believe . . . [it's] what I must do to be happy, in response to a soul-crushing secret that my wife and I have been dealing with for more than seven years"

According to Dawn, quote, "we both believe [this] better fits who I now am." Dawn says she has a, quote, "unusual hormonal imbalance" that led to her developing breasts and identifying as a female.

In another sign of how far we've come as a society, her coworkers were immediately supportive. Some of them got her flowers, and the president of ABC News wrote a note in support. See a before and after photo of Don/Dawn on today's blog pics.

You'll also see a pic of SHE-HULK. Back on April 26th, in North Yorkshire, England, a woman in her late teens or early 20s got dressed up as SHE-HULK.

She was painted in green, and wearing a red wig and a torn white t-shirt. Around 3:00 A.M., she walked up to a 17-year-old girl outside of a McDonald's and PUNCHED HER in the face for no reason. The girl got a black eye.

And now police are trying to hunt down the She-Hulk. Let's hope when they find her, she's not angry. Because they wouldn't like her when she's angry.

This great American city is home to the Browns, the Indians, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and the man charged with holding three women captive for a decade.

So to capitalize on all the recent headlines, the Department of Travel and Excursions decided to freshen-up the city's image. Here are . . . Cleveland's New Tourism Slogans.

Cleveland: There's a Reason LeBron Left.

Where Tom Cruise Could've Filmed "Oblivion" Without Building an Expensive Set.

We Rock . . . According to a Bipolar Former Sitcom Star Who Now Watches Obese People Play Plinko.

Hey, You Know That Unwatchable Sitcom with Betty White and Valerie Bertinelli? That Takes Place Here!

Cleveland: The Perfect City for Everyone Who Finds Akron Too Fast-Paced and Cosmopolitan.

Our Airport Now Offers Tons of Flights to Much More Exciting Places.

At Least We're Not Rochester.

Cleveland: The Only Place on Earth Where Kim Kardashian's Ass is Considered Tiny.

Cleveland: Come for the Icy 20 Degree Temperatures, Stay for the Freezing Rain and Sleet!

Can You Take Two Steps Without Falling Over? Then You Can Play for the Browns!

Cleveland: Yes, We're Lame, But That Keeps All the Hipsters Out.

After Superstorm Sandy struck last October, 86-year-old Uranie Roberts and his 62-year-old daughter Carol Baumann were evacuated from their home in Toms River, New Jersey. They left in a rubber raft, and took their eight-year-old cat Porsche with them to stay with relatives eight miles away.

But after they got there . . . Porsche escaped.

After the storm, Uranie and Carol eventually went back home, without Porsche. But they never gave up hope that they'd find him . . . and Carol said she prayed for the cat every night.

And on May1st . . . last Wednesday . . . they heard a noise on their deck. When they opened the blinds, Porsche was outside waiting for them, after finding his way back home . . . SIX MONTHS after the storm. See a pic of the lil cat on today's blog.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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