Latest on Boston Bombers, New Man of Steel Trailer, Tom Cruise's Oblivion, & The Best Things About Working At McDonald's
4/19/2013 3:00:00 PM
There was chaos and confusion last night in Boston, involving a police officer who was shot and killed at MIT, a carjacking nearby, the death of one Boston Marathon Bombing suspect, and a manhunt for the second.
Here's what we know . . .
The latest reports say the suspects were brothers of Chechen origin. Suspect number one . . . the one in the FBI photos with the black hat, who was killed last night . . . was the older brother.
He was 26, studied engineering at Bunker Hill Community College in Boston, and his name was Tamerlan Tsarnaev, born in Russia. Tsarnaev is prounounced Sar-nay-ev.
The younger brother who's on the loose is 19, and was born in Kyrgyzstan. His name is Dzhokhar, pronounced Jah-har. They've both been in the country for a while.
Things in the investigation picked up a lot more quickly yesterday, because the FBI released new, clear surveillance photos of the suspects yesterday evening.
They even got a better photo AFTER that, from Facebook. Twitter and social media in general seemed a LOT farther ahead of the fast-changing events last night than bigger media outlets. Maybe that's the future of reporting.
Times like these we could use a real MAN OF STEEL. Here's the trailer for the new Superman flick.
Evidently, many McDonald's customers have complained about workers being unpleasant and rude. Maybe employees at the Golden Arches just don't realize how good they have it.
Here are the Top Best Things About Working at McDonald's.
If you show up in a red wig and yellow jumpsuit, it's not immediately clear that you're on meth.
Can you leave your shift at other jobs with your pocket stuffed with sporks, ketchup packets and coffee mixers? I think not, friend. I think not.
Unlike the rest of the world, you're privy to what makes Shamrock Shakes that unique shade of green: phlegm.
It doesn't get any better than watching obese people try to fit into booths.
When co-workers aren't looking, you can spit in someone's Quarter Pounder. Or when they ARE looking. Because they don't care.
That sharp edge of the fry spatula's perfect for cleaning your nails.
Cleaning out the Play Place ball pit is a fun way to learn about new and exciting communicable diseases.
It's just nice to spend the day surrounded by other people who make zero effort to hide their hatred of the customers, the boss, their coworkers, and themselves.
There's just something gratifying about knowing you're doing your part to help lower America's collective lifespan.
Psychologists agree NOTHING'S more life-affirming than putting on an ill-fitting, short-sleeve, button-down shirt and earning minimum wage to serve obese mouth-breathers some shapeless hunks of grade-D meat.
Wearing the drive-through headset kind of makes it feel like you're in a boy band.
You don't need to shower, ever.
Most locations have free Wi-Fi, so on your 15 minute break, you can search for a less soul-crushing job.
Since you've reached rock bottom, the only way is up!
You can steal all the food you want and then blame it on the Hamburglar.
You can use the money you make to save up for college . . . if you work there for 30 years.
If you want an Egg McMuffin after 10:30, you can have it!
You receive a $10 million bonus if you can prove any customer has ever ordered a salad.
You can FINALLY confirm your long-held suspicion that the "special sauce" is Thousand Island dressing.
On your second day of work . . . you get promoted to manager.
You rarely encounter annoying vegans.
It's the perfect place to learn that there's no task that's beneath you.
In Oblivion, opening this weekend, Tom Cruise plays a guy who's been assigned to extract the Earth's remaining resources after an alien invasion decimates the human population and leaves most of the planet uninhabitable.
In the movie, Tom lives in a "sky tower" 3,000 feet above the surface with British minx Andrea Riseborough. But they didn't use blue screens for any those scenes.
Instead, they filmed dozens of cloud formations and sunsets from the top of a volcano and ran those images in the background as the actors performed. That allowed them to be immersed in the moment, with lighting that looks more natural.
The other human survivors includes the best Bond girl ever Olga Kurylenko and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, who you know as Jaime Lannister on "Game of Thrones".
"Oblivion" was filmed in Iceland. Speaking of, what does everyone drive in Iceland? A Fjord.