Would You Go To Mars to Die, Happy Birthday to Hugh Janus, & Does Satan Look Like President Obama?
Posted 3/18/2013 3:00:00 PM

This is shocking video. CNN says that the guilty verdict ruined 'promising' lives of Steubenville rapists.

I just can't believe this aired on TV.

HOW DARE CNN mourn the rapists' future and not the victim's.

This reminds me of a video from The Onion that felt like it went over the line, but now CNN proves it even smarter and darkly funny than it seemed a years ago.

Well, here's something interesting: The SATAN character on the History Channel's "Bible" mini-series sure seems to look a lot like . . . PRESIDENT OBAMA.

The actor's name is MEHDI OUAZANI. No one from History or the show has commented.

Check out the photo on today's blog and here's a trailer featuring the character...what do YOU think?

If you've always dreamed of going into space, this could be an amazing opportunity. There's just one small catch . . .

A private company called Mars One is looking for people to train for the next eight years, to go on their maiden voyage to Mars in September of 2022.

For FREE!

But now, the catch: It's a one-way ticket.

So if you sign up, you're basically signing up to DIE ON MARS.

A guy named Bas Landsdorp is the founder of Mars One.

He says, quote, "The technology exists to get humans to Mars and keep them alive. The technology to bring humans from Mars back to Earth simply does not exist yet."

Once you're up on Mars, you'll be part of a human settlement and a community where you'll live out the rest of your life. I don’t know, this kind of sounds AMAZING. Agree/disagree? Would you be up for this? I think I would be. Leave your comments below.

Of course, if I was going to die on Mars I’d want to make sure they had a good mortuary. A mix up by an Earth-based (Los Angeles) mortuary recently caused the wrong body to be buried.

Not exactly what you want to deal with when burying a loved one. Here are the Top Signs You Picked the Wrong Mortuary.

They have a 24-hour deposit box.

They employ a marionette who, if you so desire, can rig your loved one's corpse to do one last "Harlem Shake".

Their "hearse" is a pickup truck with a horn that plays the opening riff to "Don't Fear the Reaper".

They have an on-site taxidermist, in case you change your mind and decide you'd rather use grandma to get into the carpool lane.

For $100 they will bury your grandma. For another $50, they will return her jewelry.

When they're not using the ovens to cremate people, they run a pizza delivery service.

Their process goes a little something like this . . . Step One: Prepare the body for burial. Step Two: Hit on the widow.

Even though the dude's business card CLEARLY says he's the "Undertaker," he DOESN'T appreciate being smashed in the head with a folding chair.

It's a mortuary by day . . . dance club by night.

The only song the organist knows is "Another One Bites the Dust."

If you haven't seen it yet, a weatherman in L.A. named Henry DiCarlo fell for the oldest prank in the book last week.

He was reading birthday messages submitted by viewers on Wednesday.

And one of them was for a 10-year-old kid with the first name "Hugh" and the last name "Janus".

At first, DiCarlo didn't realize it was a prank. But once he did, he couldn't stop laughing.

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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