Top Tips for Celebrating Valentine's Day, DGS Style
Posted 2/14/2013 3:00:00 PM

Have a romantic Valentine's Day planned? See how you can make it special with the Top Tips for Celebrating Valentine's Day.

Just because the adorable stuffed teddy bear says, "I love you" when you push its belly doesn't make up for the fact you spent $2.99 on her present.

Wherever you choose to take that special lady in your life, please make sure your wife won't be there.

Realize that it's a B.S. holiday created to sell candy and flowers . . . then buy her expensive candy and flowers.

Don't fight it. Just put in a Ryan Gosling movie and stroke her hair.

Trust me, getting naked and hiding in his dressing room STILL won't make Justin Bieber understand you were MEANT to be his Valentine, KLOSE!

This is the 147th Valentine's Day people will celebrate with those candy conversation hearts. Sure, they taste like a mix of chalk and garbage, but the messages on them are the BEST. Which is why people buy FOUR MILLION POUNDS of them a year.

"The Atlantic" talked to NECCO, the company behind them, and got a list of some of the messages on the hearts they've RETIRED over the years. After all, slang evolves . . . and you don't want your hearts sounding un-hip, right? Here are the top 10 retired conversation heart messages . . .

#10.) HOT CHA.(DURANTE!)

#9.) The peace symbol. (Bring this back!)

#8.) 1-800 CUPID. (???)

#7.) YOU ARE LATE. (--In this day and age, people would see that as a teen pregnancy scare...but what did it USED to mean?)

#6.) SAUCY BOY.

#5.) HEP CAT.

#4.) DIG ME.

#3.) GROOVY.

#2.) FAX ME.

#1.) YOU ARE GAY. (Yep, they really had this one. It was back when it actually meant "You are happy and lighthearted".)

If you're going to pick up a Valentine's Day card today, try to select something that shows you care. And be sure to avoid cards containing anything on this list of the . . . Top Rejected Valentine's Day Card Greetings.

This Valentine's Day, you deserve to be treated like a queen. But seriously, dinner's not going to cook itself.

I have to say I love you more each year . . . but that's a lie . . . now go get me a beer!

I think I'm falling in love with you . . . or is that just the ecstasy kicking in?

Happy Valentine's Day from across the miles. . . I'm cheating on you here, but let's keep the smiles!

If you don't do me . . . the terrorists have won.

The Valentine's Day-list-obsessed people at UltimateClassicRock.com have put together a list of The Top 10 Most Romantic Rock Music Videos. Here's the list, which isn't ranked.

"Faithfully", Journey

"You're My Best Friend", Queen

"Forever", KISS

"Silly Love Songs", Paul McCartney & Wings

"Sea of Love", The Honeydrippers

"Harvest Moon", Neil Young

"Something", The Beatles

"You're in My Heart", Rod Stewart

"You Are So Beautiful", Joe Cocker

"Wild Horses", The Rolling Stones (The song I danced to with my wife at my wedding!)

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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