It must be nice to be BILL MURRAY. When he played in a pro-am golf tournament at Pebble Beach over the weekend he picked up his divot post shot and put it in a female fan's MOUTH. But apparently she was cool with it.

Another Bill (O’Reilly) was on David Letterman recently, calling for gun registration.

As Bill himself would ask, WHAT SAY YOU?

O’Reilly has a book called Killing Lincoln (that Mark Klose just read) that was made into a TV movie. That OTHER Lincoln picture (Spielberg’s) isn't just a movie anymore: It's a part of your children's education.

When the movie comes out on DVD, a copy will be shipped to every public and private high school and middle school in the United States. Yes, every one . . . in the ENTIRE UNITED STATES.

STEVEN SPIELBERG says, quote, "As more and more people began to see the film, we received letters from teachers asking if it could be available in their classrooms.

“We realized that the educational value that 'Lincoln' could have was not only for the adult audiences . . . but students as well. The disc will come with an "educator's guide" . . . because, you know, teachers need movies studios to do their jobs for them. In all seriousness though, this is pretty cool. Love that movie.

Today to celebrate Lincoln’s birthday, we will air THE FULL UNEDITED almost 20 minute version of the best DGS segment ever, GAY LINCOLN, at 6:35pm tonight.

At 5pm tonight, Dr. Michael Lynch joins us to talk about the Pope retiring, something HE PREDICTED back in 2005.

Old age and health issues are the reasons Pope Benedict is resigning as the leader of the Catholic Church. We have our own theories. Here are the Top Real Reasons the Pope is Resigning.

He got tired of the annoying Vatican chef greeting him every morning with, "Eggs, Benedict?"

He wants to follow in Oprah's steps and launch a cable network that nobody watches.

Popin' ain't easy.

He's tired of having to explain how someone with "papal infallibility" consistently BUTCHERS "YMCA" at Vatican karaoke nights.

He just saw an episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" and realized there is no God.

Now that they're both retired, he and Ray Lewis can take that long-planned cross-country road trip.

We end today’s blog with a clip so NSFW we couldn’t air it on the show. Here’s a commercial for JOHNSON’s.