Bill O'Reilly Wants Gun Registration, Bill Murray Is Nutty, & the Top Real Reasons the Pope is Resigning
Posted 2/12/2013 3:00:00 PM

It must be nice to be BILL MURRAY. When he played in a pro-am golf tournament at Pebble Beach over the weekend he picked up his divot post shot and put it in a female fan's MOUTH. But apparently she was cool with it.

Another Bill (O’Reilly) was on David Letterman recently, calling for gun registration.


As Bill himself would ask, WHAT SAY YOU?

O’Reilly has a book called Killing Lincoln (that Mark Klose just read) that was made into a TV movie. That OTHER Lincoln picture (Spielberg’s) isn't just a movie anymore: It's a part of your children's education.

When the movie comes out on DVD, a copy will be shipped to every public and private high school and middle school in the United States. Yes, every one . . . in the ENTIRE UNITED STATES.

STEVEN SPIELBERG says, quote, "As more and more people began to see the film, we received letters from teachers asking if it could be available in their classrooms.

“We realized that the educational value that 'Lincoln' could have was not only for the adult audiences . . . but students as well. The disc will come with an "educator's guide" . . . because, you know, teachers need movies studios to do their jobs for them. In all seriousness though, this is pretty cool. Love that movie.

Today to celebrate Lincoln’s birthday, we will air THE FULL UNEDITED almost 20 minute version of the best DGS segment ever, GAY LINCOLN, at 6:35pm tonight.

At 5pm tonight, Dr. Michael Lynch joins us to talk about the Pope retiring, something HE PREDICTED back in 2005.

Old age and health issues are the reasons Pope Benedict is resigning as the leader of the Catholic Church. We have our own theories. Here are the Top Real Reasons the Pope is Resigning.

He got tired of the annoying Vatican chef greeting him every morning with, "Eggs, Benedict?"

He wants to follow in Oprah's steps and launch a cable network that nobody watches.

Popin' ain't easy.

He's tired of having to explain how someone with "papal infallibility" consistently BUTCHERS "YMCA" at Vatican karaoke nights.

He just saw an episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" and realized there is no God.

Now that they're both retired, he and Ray Lewis can take that long-planned cross-country road trip.

We end today’s blog with a clip so NSFW we couldn’t air it on the show. Here’s a commercial for JOHNSON’s.

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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  1. DoctorBulldog posted on 02/12/2013 03:31 PM
    Aw, heck no!

    You mean to tell me that Bill O'Reilly trusts the government enough to keep a database of gun owners? Every country that I can think of that has gone down that path has eventually used those databases to confiscate their citizens' weapons.

    It's sheer fascism in the guise of "safety."
  2. JR posted on 02/12/2013 08:45 PM
    This year will go down in history. For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!" -Adolf Hitler,1935"

    Enough said. May it never be.
  3. Chris posted on 02/18/2013 01:07 PM
    Ten years??!! For carrying a gun without a registration? What's the fine for not registering your car? This is ridiculous! O'Reilly must be getting senile. A law like this would put thousands of innocent people in prison for nothing more than not having a registration for their firearm. The difference between firearms and cars is that there is an amendment to the Constitution that gives us the right to keep and bear arms. There's no "car amendment"! It's a privilege.
    The founding fathers determined that owning firearms and being proficient with them to be so important to protect ourselves from a tyrannical government that they made gun ownership the second amendment added to the Constitution. Right behind freedom of speech & religion! That's pretty significant!
    O'Reilly's wacky idea of registration is one of the things gun owners feel very adamantly against. It tells the government (which no one should trust, strictly through common sense) who has what guns and where to go pick them up. I just don't understand these stupid ideas of gun restrictions. We all know they don't work. Millions and millions of gun owners are responsible, law-abiding citizens who have never and will never use their guns to commit a crime. The criminals are a tiny percentage, and most likely have gotten their guns through illegal means. So, is it right to punish the millions (maybe billions?) of law-abiding citizens for the actions of a few? It's preposterous!
    The simple fact that anti-gun activists and politicians will lie boldly to the American citizens about firearms and about the amount of crime vs. the amount of restrictions should throw up red flags for every citizen. Not just gun owners! What is their ulterior motive for wanting to remove guns from the hands of Americans? That is the real question!
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