Top Job Interviewing Tips, Joe Biden Foot-in-Mouth, and NEW DAVID BOWIE
1/9/2013 3:00:00 PM
Remember when Vice President Joe Biden suggested the White House can act without Congress to come up with a gun control plan? Oh yeah, that just happened.
Tom is out sick again today, and this year's flu outbreak is expected to be REALLY bad. So when you catch it, there's a new free Facebook app that can help you figure out which one of your friends infected you.
The app is called "Help, I Have the Flu" and it analyzes your friends' profiles for signs that they're sick. It looks for words in status updates like "sneezing" and "coughing."
It also looks at people who've been making lots of late-night posts, because it figures people who are sleep deprived are at a higher risk of getting sick.
Then the app reports back to you on who most likely got you sick. You can install the app (if you have Facebook) at facebook.com/HelpRemedies.
Many people have resolved to find a new job in 2013 (will Tom be one of them?). If that includes you, we can offer some help with the Top Job Interviewing Tips.
Don't repeatedly squirm in your chair while going, "Oof, this heroin balloon's uncomfortable."
Don't put your feet on the interviewer's table. It's disrespectful.
Plus it gives him a clear view of your DUI ankle monitor.
Don't nod at your interviewer's wedding ring and then hold up your own and say, "Hey, we're BOTH idiots!"
Don't ask to borrow your interviewer's computer to see how many of your favorite porn sites the office blocks.
Offer the guy a beer. It's rude for you to just sit there drinking alone.
Try to gauge your interviewer's opinion and interest in human tails before offering to show yours.
Axe Body Spray is not an adequate substitute for showering.
If asked what your greatest weaknesses are, don't say "laziness and incompetence".
Tell them the reason you quit your last job was because your boss was a judgey idiot.
Avoid doing an "Al Roker." Don't ask the interviewer if you can pet his enormous neck goiter.
Avoid your awful joke about how you were employed at Sea World . . . so you work well with OTTERS!
DAVID BOWIE celebrated his 66th birthday yesterday by releasing his first single in nearly a decade. The song is called "Where Are We Now?", and it will be on his next album "The Next Day", which comes out on March 12th.
There's also a video for the song. It features footage of Berlin, including an auto repair store, beneath the apartment that Bowie lived in during the '70s.
"Where Are We Now?" is also currently available on iTunes.
Bowie's last album, "Reality", came out in 2003. It had the single "New Killer Star" (which I LOVED).
What do you think of this new tune?