Drunkenly Singing Bohemian Rhapsody, Top Reasons You Don't Care About the BCS, & Frozen Al Roker
Posted 1/7/2013 3:00:00 PM

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you had a better New Year’s Day than Jacob Cox-Brown.

I know I SHOULDN'T be shocked by this . . . teenagers put EVERYTHING on Facebook and seem to have NO wisdom on what they shouldn't share with the world. But Facebook posts like this STILL catch me off guard.

Around 1:00 A.M. on New Year's Day, 18-year-old Jacob Cox-Brown of Astoria, Oregon was driving DRUNK. He sideswiped two parked cars, fled the scene, and went home. At which point, of course, he decided to post about it on Facebook. He wrote, quote, "Drivin' drunk . . . classic. [Winking face]. But to whoever's vehicle I hit I am sorry."

One of his Facebook friends saw that and forwarded it to the cops. They arrested him later that day on two counts of failing to perform the duties of a driver. He wasn't charged with drunk driving because the Facebook post isn't enough evidence to prove he was legally drunk at the time. (???)

This reminds me of the AMAZING video in which a drunken guy sings ALL of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody while being driven to the big house. When the guy went to court recently, he decided to act as his own lawyer . . . and wore a Viking helmet. He ended up being fined $1,400 for impaired driving, and lost his license for a year.

I wonder if he will be watching the BCS Championship game tonight with a couple of brewskis?

Yes, the highly-anticipated matchup between #1 ranked Notre Dame and #2 ranked Alabama goes down tonight in Miami. See why you couldn't care less with the Top Reasons You Won't Be Watching the BCS Championship Game.

You're Justin Bieber and you'll be way too baked.

As a bar owner, you already waste enough nights watching Irish and rednecks battle each other.

You find Nick Saban's lesbian haircut disconcerting.

Notre Dame gave the world Regis. 'Nuf said.

You're still calculating the number of times you heard the "N-word" in "Django Unchained".

You're still in your Mayan Apocalypse fallout shelter.

You refuse to support American universities until they start placing more of an emphasis on athletics.

You prefer to have nothing to discuss with the coworkers you spend 40 hours a week silently loathing.

All your friends are Notre Dame fans, and as crazy as it sounds, they can occasionally be a bit insufferable when it comes to watching football.

Monday nights are reserved for talking to your wife about her feelings. Kidding! Totally watching.

You'll be too busy planning next Sunday's "Downton Abbey" viewingparty.

You're Irish, so you'll be passed out by kickoff.

Or maybe you’re Al Roker, and Savannah Guthrie has just made a joke about the Holy Ghost…and you find yourself FROZEN for 17 seconds!

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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