NOTHING CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE GOBBLEDY GOOKER (& Twilight)
Posted 11/16/2012 3:00:00 PM

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS CLIP?

I know after watching that your life will never be the same. That is a clip from WWF Wrestling in the late 80’s, featuring the Bushwhackers and the GOBBLEDY GOOKER, a character I had no idea existed until lunch today when Tom Terbrock brought him up.

We were talking about old-school wrestling, and the worst characters of all time. Tom said it would have to be either Doink the Clown (?) or the Gobbledy Gooker.

Here he is making his debut at Summer Slam one Thanksgiving.

The Gooker was portrayed by wrestling great HECTOR GUERRERO, who is now a PE teacher. Hector is NOT COOL with the Gooker being on everyone’s list as the worst wrestling character of all time.

In this clip he wants us all to remember the Gooker was FOR THE KIDS.

Speaking of silly things young people enjoy, MILLIONS of young people are getting STOKED for the release of "Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2". But some of them almost didn't get a chance to see it.

The first time the Motion Picture Association of America took a look at it, they slapped it with an R-rating because of the BEHEADINGS . . . which is how you kill a vampire in the "Twilight" movies.

Director BILL CONDON says, quote, "Certainly, with any other movie, there are a thousand ways to kill people. With this one, it's a variation on the same theme. If they were going to be offended by the idea of beheadings, we would have had no movie." Ultimately, some cuts were made, and the movie hits theaters today with a PG-13 rating.

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are all back for the final "Twilight" movie. In case you missed the last one, Bella and Edward got married, Bella almost died during childbirth, and Edward turned her into a vampire to save her life.

This one picks up with Bella adjusting to her desire to eat humans, their half-breed child growing fast, and some PG-13 vampire sex.

The kid has the ridiculous name Renesmee, and she's played by 12-year-old Mackenzie Foy. Yes, in this movie, Edward and Bella have a daughter named, "Renesmee." Here, I'll use it in a sentence: Who the hell names their kid Renesmee?

This might freak some fans out, but "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2" won't have the same ending as the book. Entertainment Weekly says author STEPHENIE MEYER and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg came up with something new. But if it makes you feel any better, both ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART like it.

Rob says, quote, "When I first read the script, I got to that part and was like, 'What?' And then I had to go back a page. It does it a serious justice."

And Kristen says, quote, "It's clearly made by someone who really cares. That's why Bill Condon is perfect. Thank God for him." (--Uh-oh . . . Sounds like Kristen's in love with another director. Run, Rob, run!!!)

And so, the latest (last?) installment of the "Twilight" franchise opens today. Find out why you couldn't care less with the Top Reasons You Aren't Going to See "Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2".

Because it's "Twilight: Breaking Dawn - Part 2".

You already bought it on Blu-ray in Chinatown.

Because you don't SEE "Twilight". You EXPERIENCE it!

Your hands simply can't be trusted not to wander when Taylor Lautner's shirt comes off.

You prefer movies where you can actually feel the sexual tension between the female lead and the director.

You don't care about the "twist" ending, unless the "twist" is that Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner promise to never make another movie again.

If you want to watch stories of blood-sucking monsters, you'll turn to fiscal cliff debates on C-SPAN.

You're over the age of 13. Kidding! You're totally seeing it!

Posted By: Max Foizey  

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