We've been waiting patiently for four years for the Obama Administration to get us back to enjoying a strong and robust economy. And we'll do our part by sending him this list of the Top Ways President Obama Can Jumpstart the Economy.

Go to Coinstar with Diane Sawyer's empty bottles.

Reduce dependence on foreign oil by getting energy from Paul Ryan's eyes.

Make Joe Biden put a quarter toward the deficit every time he says something stupid.

Stop doing it slowly and quietly and just outright sell us to China.

Redo the election and vote for Mitt Romney.

Take all the tax revenues to Las Vegas, and put it on the Carolina Panthers NOT winning the Super Bowl...ever.

Turn America into a theme park and charge admission to Obesity-Land!

Harness and sell electricity generated by Prius drivers' smugness.

Put a nickel in a jar every time he says "Uhhh" when answering a question.

Limit the role of government so that it only controls 99.9% of everything.

Take whatever he did for the last four years . . . and do the opposite.

He might not have much time to do anything if you believe the misinterpretation of the Mayan calendar, because the world is ending next month. But if the world really WAS going to end, and you could have SEX with just one person . . . who would it be?

In a new survey, 58% of people say they'd want to have sex for the final time with . . . their significant other. That's sweet. And most likely a total lie. 22% of people said they'd most want to have sex with a CELEBRITY. Remember, under this hypothetical, you COULD have sex with Natalie Portman. Like, somehow it's just you and her in a bunker with some wine coolers.

Women were more likely than men to say they'd want their final sex to be with their significant other, 67% to 49%. People over 50 were more likely than people 18 to 49 to pick their significant other over a celebrity, 64% to 54%.

Of the men who picked a celebrity, Jennifer Aniston was the top choice. Megan Fox was second, Scarlett Johansson was third, and Angelina Jolie was fourth. For women, George Clooney came in first, Channing Tatum was second, and Ryan Gosling was third.

So nobody picked former "Spy Kid" ALEXA VEGA? She tweeted a picture of herself in a bikini and chaps from the upcoming flick "Machete Kills". See the pic on today’s blog…Alexa is a quite curvy 24 year old now. I bet one of Dave’s celebrity choices would be Gwen Stefani of No Doubt.

Did you hear that NO DOUBT released a video for "Looking Hot" last week which had a cowboys-and-Indians theme then almost immediately pulled it from the Internet? Apparently, they were getting a LOT of heat from Native Americans, who found the video offensive and RACIST.

In addition to yanking the video, No Doubt posted an apology on its website . . . saying, quote, "Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialize Native American people, their culture or their history. Although we consulted with Native American friends and Native American studies experts at the University of California, we realize now that we have offended people. This is of great concern to us and we are removing the video immediately. We sincerely apologize to the Native American community, and anyone else offended by this video. Being hurtful to anyone is simply not who we are."

There are no longer any official links to the video online . . . but of course NOTHING is EVER deleted from the Internet.

If that gets taken down, just Google it.

What do YOU think? Is anything with a cowboys and Indians theme RACIST?