Yesterday, America re-elected a president. But honestly, who can concentrate on talking about the leader of the free world...when rumors continue to circulate that Katy Perry and Rihanna are fighting!

You might have heard in Colorado there was a vote to legalize marijuana. Now that it has passed, the number of Colorado residents smoking marijuana will remain at 100%.

Yes, PRESIDENT OBAMA won re-election last night. The totals won't be official for a few days, but he ended up defeating MITT ROMNEY in the Electoral College by about 303 electoral votes to 206 votes, and the popular vote by about 59.9 million to 57.2 million. That's a difference of about two and a half million votes. And statistically, that's 50% to 48%. So, yep . . . we're still a pretty divided country.

At around 11:14 P.M. Eastern, PRESIDENT OBAMA tweeted, quote, "This happened because of you. Thank you." And within a few minutes, most of the media confirmed he was right. Less than 15 minutes after the west coast polls closed, both FOX News and CNN called that Obama had won the swing state of Ohio, and with that, he'd won the election. When Obama won the first swing state of the night . . . New Hampshire . . . things started looking like they would line up with state polls.

Then, as it approached 11:00 P.M., networks started calling other swing states like Wisconsin and Iowa. But it still all came down to Ohio. And when Obama took the electoral votes from Ohio, the path to 270 electoral votes became insurmountable for Romney.

But Romney wasn't quite ready to concede, and neither was KARL ROVE. He sort of WENT ROGUE on FOX News, and said Ohio was still up in the air. Eventually he backed down, but Romney didn't finally concede until around 1:00 A.M Eastern.

So to recap last night: President Obama was re-elected. Republicans retained the House. And Democrats held onto the Senate. In other words, after two years and billions of dollars spent on campaigning, not a DAMN THING CHANGED!

Mitt Romney is disappointed. But hey, that's the way the heavily-gelled hair crumbles.

Here are the Top Mitt Romney Excuses For Losing the Election.

It's just a terrible time in America to be an impossibly handsome and intelligent white man.

Shockingly, Americans don't give a crap who Meat Loaf endorses.

All his sons resemble bullies from John Hughes movies.

Despite his efforts, he was never able to shut Donald Trump up.

More of his supporters would have voted for him, but they had trouble finding their way out of their giant mansions.

Or maybe the reason Romney lost is because GOP leaders don’t reject “extreme statements” as Former McCain Adviser Steve Schmidt thinks.

OR maybe Romney lost because YOU DIDN’T Vote.

Are you one of the estimated 40% of Americans who didn't vote? Find your lame excuse here on the list of the Top Reasons You Didn't Vote.

You used Apple maps to find your polling place. So you didn't find your polling place.

Fox News declared Mitt Romney the winner at 7 in the morning, MSNBC declared President Obama the winner at 7 in the morning.

You already voted this week for "Dancing with the Stars".

You know that people died for this right, but . . . there was a 20-minute wait.

You're not waiting in long lines unless there's a new iPhone waiting for you at the end.

Because the candidates were Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.