The only thing more shocking than Todd Akin’s comments? Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger is engaged to Avril Lavigne.

Here's something you probably didn't know: AVRIL LAVIGNE has been dating NICKELBACK singer CHAD KROEGER for about six months. Oh, and it gets better: They're ENGAGED.

Chad proposed on the 8th of this month with a 14-carat diamond. Avril's rep says, quote, "A romantic relationship blossomed as they spent time writing together."

Let's see what this is all ABOOT. This will be Chad's first marriage and Avril's second. She previously made The Big Mistake with Deryck Whibley of Sum 41. That marriage lasted three years.

Here are some things we can assume about this union of Canucks:

*Their first born will grow up to be Canada’s ruler.

*You can register for their wedding gifts at your local Hot Topic.

*Todd Akin is looking into ways to ‘shut this whole thing down.’

We toyed with the idea of celebrating Canada’s new power couple with a SECOND Avril Lavigne day here on the DGS, but decided to keep that holiday holy and only celebrate it once a year. If you missed this year’s festivities, you can enjoy them by clicking HERE.

I don’t know where the two will spend their honeymoon, but they could try a restaurant chain in Texas called the Twisted Root Burger Company, where the servers are allowed to give REALLY small discounts for joke reasons.

In one receipt, a female customer got a discount of TWO CENTS for having the BEST BUTT and being BEST LOOKING.

Check out a pic of the receipt on today’s blog. You’ll also see pics of a pretty big FAIL for the art world. A few weeks ago in Spain, the granddaughter of a 19th-century Spanish painter named Elias Garcia Martinez donated money to a church in Borja, Spain.

She wanted to restore one of her grandfather's famous paintings of Jesus on their walls. There was only one problem. An 80-year-old member of the church heard about the plan to restore the painting...and took it upon HERSELF to do the touch-up job, without permission.

And she turned Jesus into a hilarious and childish mixture of an alien, a monkey, and an Eskimo. The woman turned herself in to local authorities, but it's doubtful anything will happen to her.

View the original photo, the photo before the restoration, and the "after" all on the right there with the rest of today’s pics.

Beloit College in Wisconsin just released their annual list of the things that incoming college freshmen are too young to know about. You know...the list that makes you want to SHRIVEL up and DIE of OLD AGE. This year's freshmen are the class of 2016, so they were born in...1994. Yep. I'll just let that sink in for a second.

Now, check out 18 things they're too young to know about:

#1.) For them, KURT COBAIN,JACKIE O, and RICHARD NIXON have ALWAYS been dead.

#2.) They know ROBERT DE NIRO as Greg Focker's father-in-law, not a mobster.

#3.) They've never used an actual airline ticket.

#4.) They've never had to carry their luggage, they've always rolled it.

#5.) The NFL has ALWAYS played in Jacksonville . . . and NEVER in Los Angeles.

#6.) They don't know why they click an icon with a picture of a floppy disk to save files.

#7.) The Secretary of State has almost always been a woman.

#8.) They think of BILL CLINTON as an elder statesman.

#9.) Women have been flying space shuttles and fighter jets the entire time they've been alive.

#10.) They've never had to use an encyclopedia.

What makes YOU feel old?