Reviewed by Max Foizey.

Release Date: January 5, 2007
Director: Paul J. Bolger
Starring:Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sigourney Weaver, Freddie Prince Jr.
Rating: PG

Last year I wrote a review for "Hoodwinked" a so-so computer animation retelling of "Little Red Riding Hood." I was unimpressed, but all in all it was an okay flick to take the kids to. Almost exactly a year later I find myself writing another review for a computer animation retelling of a fairy tale, this time "Cinderella" and this time it's much, much worse. (And both films feature Patrick "Puddy" Warburton! How weird!)

It seems the denizens of Fairy Tale Land live out their respective tales over and over again, with the same happy endings, because a Wizard makes sure the proper series of events happen. I find this a very odd concept, as if the characters exist in some sort of fairy tale purgatory, doomed to relive their storybook lives for all eternity.

In any case, when the Wizard in charge of this balance goes on a Scottish golfing trip, and things go haywire while his assistants are in charge. George Carlin takes a break from wine and vicodin to voice the Wizard/golf enthusiast, with Wallace "INCONCIEVABLE!" Shawn and Andy "Please stop giving me work" Dick as his bumbling assistants, Munk and Mambo.

Which leads us to Frieda, Cinderella’s evil stepmother (Weaver) who seizes her chance to take over Fairy Tale Land with the help of Witches, Trolls, and Big Bad Wolves. It's an interesting idea - a sort of anti-justice league of supervillians - but like most of the halfway decent ideas in this film it goes nowhere.

Meanwhile Cinderella (Gellar, as just plain "Ella") teams up with a lowly dishwasher (Gellar's Hubby Freddy Prinze, Jr.) to rescue the imbecilic Prince Charming (Warburton) so HE can save the day from her evil Stepmother. Warburton is stuck with nothing to work with, Prinze Jr's narration is boring, and besides sporting a Natalie Portman hairdo, Gellar's Cinderella is nothing to write home about.

The downfall of these hipper-than-thou pictures is that they hardly ever are as clever as they think they are. Perhaps "Shrek" passes that test, "Happily N'Ever After" doesn't. The cleverest thing about "Happily N'Ever After" is the title. That's it. You've read the title, and that's as good as it gets.

I grade films on a scale of one through five, and this is my first *No Stars* review since 2005's "Boogeyman." It's that bad. It makes me yearn for the mediocrity of "Hoodwinked." In this day and age, is there any excuse for a film to be this bad? I mean, the filmmakers must have worked VERY HARD to get the movie to be this devoid of merit. Kudos to them.

In addition to hosting 'Max on Movies' on Sunday nights at 7pm on 97.1 FM Talk, Max appears weekly on the Dave Glover Show Fridays at 5pm. A member of the Saint Louis Gateway Film Critics Association, Max has written about film and theatre for various print and Web media, and appeared as guest critic on various nationally syndicated radio shows. Max lives in Missouri and yet is a diehard Miami Dolphins fan. He can't wait until Saturday morning, when he can watch a QUALITY animated kid's show; "Jane and the Dragon."